Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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