im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
