Small penises have feelings too.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
