I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
