just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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