My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize