Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
