my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?