apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.