Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.