You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.