Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.