What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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