and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
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Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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