Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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