It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
