That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
