Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
