I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
