I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
