I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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