i may or may not be watching the land before time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
