i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
