you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize