I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
