You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
