she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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