was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
