youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
