i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
