can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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