I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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