i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
