Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
