She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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