I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize