Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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