if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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