How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Michael Bay diarrhea
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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