I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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