I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel like abortions should bother me more
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
