so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sorry about my life...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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