I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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