turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
