We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Drunk is a universal language darling
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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