Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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