i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
