I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
