You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize