At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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