we have officially lost it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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