Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
