all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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