I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
