I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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