So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
