Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...