Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?