fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
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I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it