In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
