Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she peed on how many people?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
