i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
