hotel room ftw
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
